So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
