no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is classic penis vs brain.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
