How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
