Your dad touched me again.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
