I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
