she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
