dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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