I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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