I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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There's always time for handjobs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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