she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I still have a little drunk in my system
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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