I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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