I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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