I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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