Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
