bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
