Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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