i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
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I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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