I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
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Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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