The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this just has baby written all over it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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