I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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