I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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