sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Houston, we have a squirter
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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