I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
