Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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