Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
