I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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