I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
