I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
