oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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