hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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