singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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