She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
