eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
