Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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