Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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