You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
