Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I will pee on everything he values.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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