I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
