he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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