the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
