You smell like a Billy Joel song
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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