brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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