Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
