Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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