Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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