He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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