im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
