i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
