i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hell yes lets make some ravioli
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
