So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The best revenge is premature balding
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
