I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
