you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
