Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
