hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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