It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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