He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
