I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
