My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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