if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
