thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
