You can't special order awesome
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
