I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize