which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
