dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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