Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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