a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize