My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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