I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
