You smell like a Billy Joel song
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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