Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
