we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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