With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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